wait. whilst browsing fandango i stumbled upon a slave movie.

that brad pit and benedict cumberbatch are going to be in? what is..?

kwikemart:

i can’t believe i am going to be an adult soon i only know like 2 things

i can’t believe i am an adult i only know like 2 things

theshadyslut:

owlcitymordred:

stagdoeandfawn:

catully:

brigwife:

latitudeoctopus:

brigwife:

wait you mean you don’t use the word ‘fortnight’ in america???

Wait what? Then what do they use?

they don’t have a word

what do you mean they don’t have a word what kind of uncivilised people are they??

the fuck is a fortnight

It’s a word for ‘two weeks’

We say “two weeks”

a-muser-in-a-trench-coat:

osamah:

PRESS J AND THEN SHIFT R

today i learned not to wrap a vacuum in tin foil and put it in a pregnant woman’s closet. apparently they freak out over things like that.

i would be a reasonably good girlfriend

well-what-a-clusterfuck:

But really.

You want to go out with the guys? that’s cool I’ll watch doctor who.

You want food? I got you, I think I have snacks somewhere in my bag and oh look an entire cheeze its box.

You want to just chill around the house? sweet I’ll make popcorn, Netflix is already up.

You’re bored? hit me up, I’m probably at the bookstore.

You killed somebody? i know how to hide a body.

worldwarbutts:

kuzannagi:

TEAM ROCKET IS BLASTING OFF AG^AAAAAAAIN

ting

(Source: iz0mbie)